Preserving CRM Analytics Dashboard Formatting When Deploying

You've built a beautiful CRM Analytics full of customization such as table column names, formats, and conditional formatting by grouping value.

Now, it's time to move this to production.  You can either deploy from the sandbox with change sets or use the Metadata API with your preferred tooling.  It's rather straightforward to select the dashboard name and complete the deployment. 

Except there's a problem. All that super styling work you did is gone. You're left with a sad looking dashboard.

What went wrong and how can we fix it? We need to dive behind the scenes of CRM Analytics to understand where our customization are stored.